How Toxic Relationships
Undermine Your Success
Something stinks - really, really bad! What is it? Oh, just that toxic person in your life, making all your roses smell like compost! I thought I had flushed the turd in my life away: the one that made me feel bad about myself, undermined my confidence and made going to work an absolute nightmare. But no... she’s still circling the bowl! This so called ‘friend’ and I used to be super close. We hung out together all the time and, being a good person, I tried to be a loyal friend. I listened to her criticism of everyone, supported her through her various dramas and tried to help her resolve her problems. It took me ages to work out she was toxic and even longer to end the friendship. Even when it was over, I still wasn't free. She had a studio in the same building as me and everyday, her negative energy would lingered in the air like a malignant foul odour. Going to work seriously sucked! Then one day, she moved out - the air cleared and I could breathe again. Unfortunately, I live in a small town, so I run into her all the time. She is still toxic and still tries to get under my skin, but I just keep flushing!
Bad Conversations. Toxic people are extremely self-centred and make every conversation about them. If you talk about yourself, they will steer the conversation back to themselves. They are not empathetic, they don't care about your problems and they won't try to make you feel better. In group conversations, they will undermine you, talk over the top of you, diminish topics you are interested in or leave you out completely.
Negativity Junky. A toxic person thrives on anything negative and will suck the positive energy right out of you. They make you think you are supporting them through a hard time, but when their problem ends, another one is waiting to take its place. Everything is sad, negative, pessimistic, angry or aggressive. In conversations, they never see the positive, and tend to bring everyone down.
Drama Queen. Being the centre of attention is the dream of every toxic person. They crave drama because it makes them feel important. They are always putting themselves in the victim position of a "crisis' and its always a big one. As a friend, they come to you looking for empathy, sympathy, and support, but they don't do anything to fix the problem.
Jealous + Judgemental. A toxic person is filled with so much self-hate that they can’t be happy for anyone around them and their jealousy comes out as judgment, criticism, or gossip. They will be jealous of your wins and will completely ignore or discount your achievements. They tell themselves they are better than everyone else and so them feel better about themselves, they ridicule other people behind their backs.
HOW IT AFFECTS YOUR SUCCESS
Toxic people want you to fail. To undermine your success they will:
- derail your time and energy with their problems, so you get off track
- suck your optimism and positive energy, so you feel drained and deflated
- cast doubt and negativity onto your inspiration and ideas, so you block yourself
- ignore your needs and problems, so you feel unimportant and unseen
- poison people against you with gossip and criticism, so you feel paranoid or left out
- scorn you for actions that you've taken to better yourself, so you feel embarrassed
- ignore your achievements and make you feel bad about your wins, so you feel guilty
HOW GEMSTONES HELP
Each gemstone has a unique healing energy that becomes part of your own energy field when you wear it. Using the correct gemstone will support your transition away from a toxic relationship and move you toward success in your career and happiness in your life.
WHICH GEMSTONES SHOULD YOU CHOOSE?
GARNET: For anything career related, I love the deep dark red gemstone Garnet. It is the stone of success and is great for promoting power and courage. Wear it while working to boost productivity and performance and it will enhance the quality and enjoyment of your work. It also promotes creative thinking and opens our eyes to opportunity. Garnet is great for the Root Chakra and helps us navigate business relationships as it protects against toxic energy. Click here for more
ONYX and OBSIDIAN: The great protector against all things toxic, these black gemstones are great for transforming negativity into positivity. Black stones absorb all negative energy around them, no matter what the source. For career success, these gemstones create a sense of empowerment and determination so you move forward to achieve your goals. They work on the Root Chakra, for grounding and stability and to unblock energy channels, encouraging an increased sense of personal power. Click here for more
AQUAMARINE: You're free of the relationship, now it's time to leave it in the past. The cleansing properties of this gorgeous blue stone washes away all that negative energy. It creates space for self-reflection, helping us to clearly express of our true feelings, without anger or hostility. It is calming and soothing and supports us to let go, release our past hurts and emotional baggage, leaving us free to move forward and create the lives we imagine. Click here for more
This was probably the worst relationship I've ever experienced. It left a big black ugly lump in my stomach - and no matter what I did, I couldn’t clear the blockage. I even went to see an Aboriginal healer to get the metaphysical plunger out! He definitely helped, and so did my gemstones, especially the Garnet. I wore Garnet every chance I could. I have a bracelet I only took off for showers and then of course, there's the gorgeous Malas - they worked a treat!
I also worked with an affirmation that helped me get back on track with my business... I even have it as the screensaver on my phone: ‘My career is flourishing. I am successful.’ I encourage you to give it a try. I absolutely love it! Click here to get it now
SPEAKING OF OILS
You may be wondering what oils I would recommend to protect against toxic relationships, to cleanse negative energy or to get you on the path to success. Well, here are my three top picks to give you a lift and get you going.
Black Pepper: This hot, sharp, spicy essential oil has similar properties to the black gemstones, and works a treat on negative energy. Rub it on your tummy, diffuse or inhale directly for a calming aroma and to create a soothing atmosphere.
On Guard: This oil blend is formulated to help protect us against all things toxic, both emotionally and physically. Diffuse it or use it instead of commercial cleaning products and it will provide a pure and uplifting aroma.
Blue Tansy: This is an excellent oil if you are feeling ready to change and let go of the past. It helps get you unstuck so you can get back on the path to success, reignite your passions and begin to move forward.
Click here for more OILS
Like to really get a handle on the subject? Time to dive into a book. If you’d like further help dealing with a toxic relationship, I highly recommend 'When to Walk Away' by Gary Thomas. Knowledge is power after all! 💖
HAPPY TO HELP
I love channeling my creativity to connect with people in a meaningful way and then to help them feel better through my jewellery. If you'd like a design made with the above gemstones, or any other that will assist with your challenges, please get in touch. I'd love to help.
I left Canada to marry a wonderful Aussie man and was just
settling into motherhood when he suffered a stroke from a
bad neck manipulation. Since then, I’ve been on a mission to help people get through difficult times.
At Kaya, we create meaningful pieces that bring comfort and hope, supporting you on your wellness journey. Our designs combine meditation and affirmations with healing gemstones and lava beads to diffuse essential oils.
We want to help reignite your vibrancy and joie de vivre by sharing the positive energy that is infused in each piece. I know you’ll love yours. All the best, Marlowe
Article credit : Marlowe Richards (www.kayajewellery.com.au)